If You Love Me
by Hamath
Summary: Harry finds out a secret about his family past which changes everything he thought he knew. Severitus. Father-son bonding fic.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Authors Note: I've always wanted to write one of these, tell me how I did. Read it all the way to the end, please, no matter what your misgivings. I really want to know what you think of this story.

"What do you mean I don't have permission?"

The goblin shuffled the papers on his desk, sighing. "To enter the Potter family vault, you must be authorized by the Head of the Potter family. Since you weren't authorized before James Potter passed away, you aren't allowed access."

Harry growled underneath his breath. "Yes, yes, you explained all that. I'm already seventeen, though, which makes me legally an adult and head of the Potter family."

The goblin sighed again. "Well, Mr.-... That's just it, actually. The blood inheritance test we performed on you was quite different then we expected."

Harry's eyes narrowed in irritation as he ground out, "How so?"

He put the papers down on his desk, and folded his hands in front of him. "For one thing, you're not a Potter."

The chair Harry had been sitting on fell over as he stood up angrily. "What?!"

The ugly little creature tapped a sheet of paper in front of him. "You're recognized as a dependent of the Potter family, but not by blood."

"You're lying, you have to be! Everyone tells me how much I look like my father!"

The goblin shrugged lazily. "I'm sorry, but the blood test never lies."

Harry sat down heavily in his chair, the world feeling like it was collapsing around him. "Does it say who... who...?" He couldn't even bring himself to finish the question.

The goblin placed some spectacles on his long nose, and picked up the parchment. "Yes, actually, I believe it does. Just let me... Ah, here we go. Your father appears to be a Mr. Severus Snape."

"What?!"

--

Snape looked up in alarm as the door to his office slammed open.

"_Snape! _We need to talk!"

He felt the familiar sneer appear on his face as Harry stormed into his room. If only he could tell the boy the truth...

"10 points from Gryffindor for not using my title, Potter."

Harry stalked up to the desk and stared at Snape, not saying a word. Snape arched an eyebrow, before huffing impatiently. "Is there something you need, Potter? I don't have all day to waste on you."

Harry stared at him a moment more, before speaking. "Why?"

Snape frowned, confused. "Why what, Potter?"

Harry bared his teeth at him. "I shouldn't have to tell you! Why?!"

"I don't have time to play games with you, Potter. Either tell me what you're blathering on about or get out of my classroom."

The young man crossed his arms and leaned against the desk behind him. "Fine, I suppose I'll just go ahead and say it. Why didn't you tell me you were my father?"

Snape felt his stomach drop out from underneath him. Years ago, when James had been captured by Death Eaters, Severus had 'consoled' Lily in her grief. Harry had been the by product of that meeting. Determined not to let James know, Lily had forced Snape into changing Harry's appearance with an altered, permanent Polyjuice Potion.

Snape stared quietly at the boy across from him. "How did you find out?"

"Gringotts. Turns out you have to authorized by the family head to enter the family vault."

Snape sighed. "Of course. We should have covered that..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Snape rubbed his forehead, he could already feel a headache building. "I wanted to, Harry, I really did. Lily made me promise, at first, and then I decided it was for the best afterwards. I wanted to let you live your life in peace, Harry. You could never have done that as the son of a Death Eater."

"Peace...?" Harry shook his head and pushed himself up off the desk. "Who else knew, Snape."

The sallow faced man grimaced as his wand dug into his side. He pulled it out and placed it on the desk in front of him absently, not noticing how Harry's eyes tracked the wand. "Lily realized it as soon as you were born. You favored me heavily. Luckily, James was on a mission negotiating with the Germans at the time, so he wasn't there to see it."

Harry placed his hand on top of the desk, thrumming his fingers against the dark wood. "So what did you do to me? Obviously, whatever you did worked, since I look like James and not you."

Snape winced. Harry wouldn't like this part. "Polyjuice Potion that we altered to give you Lily's eyes. It was a temporary solution, at least. I tried and tried to make it permanent, but altering potions that way is more of an alchemy science then potions making. Dumbledore and Flamel managed to succeed in making the potion permanent."

Harry's face frosted over as he listened to the man. Any compassion he might have felt for him had dissipated with how callously he spoke of the events. "Dumbledore knew?"

Snape nodded wordlessly.

Harry looked down at the grain of the desk, and muttered. "Why doesn't that surprise me..."

Snape looked up at his son. "What do you mean?"

"Who do I mean?! Don't act like you don't know! My whole life has been nothing but a game to you two!"

"I'm sorry if it seems that way, Harry," Snape began. "But we honestly only had your best interests at heart."

Harry scoffed and waved him off. "You did, maybe. Not Dumbledore. Do you realize what my childhood was like?"

Snape shook his head wordlessly, a sinking feeling in his gut.

"I was abandoned on a _doorstep_. Can you imagine? I was a bloody doorstep baby, an orphan, and my Aunt and Uncle made sure I knew it as soon as I could understand." Harry started to pace back and forth in front of the desk. "As soon as I was able to reach the stove, I was forced to cook all of the meals. To top it off, I didn't even get to eat what I cooked! I got what was left! Do you realize how few leftovers there are when both Vernon and Dudley eat?"

Harry stopped pacing, staring at Snape in the eyes. "That's just the beginning, too." He laughed mirthlessly, rolling up his sleeve, revealing a crescent shaped scar from shoulder to elbow. "I dropped the bacon one breakfast, so Vernon threw me into my cupboard under the stairs where I slept. All together, not an unusual occurrence. This time, though, my arm caught on the sharp latch of the door, slicing it open. I laid there for over half a day, slowly bleeding to death, before the smell of blood caused my aunt to check up on me. She stitched me up herself, telling me that I didn't deserve to go to a hospital. When Vernon got him, he beat me half to death for having the _audacity_ to bleed on _his_ floor. The stitches burst, and this time I had to wait another six hours before they finally took me to a hospital for stitches." Harry caught Snape's eyes again. "I was six, Snape. _Six!_ Do you know what that does to a child?"

Snape's mouth moved wordlessly for a moment. "I- I'm sorry, Harry. I had no idea."

Harry frowned before pacing again. "And then I get to Hogwarts, and I find out I'm not a freak. There are other people like me, people who can make things happen when they wish. All my life I thought I was alone, that I was forgotten, a freak. I finally found out I wasn't." An ugly snarl escaped his lips. "It was only a few years later when I realized what had actually happened. I wasn't forgotten, Snape. I was placed at the Dursley's for a reason.

"Yes, Lily's sacri-"

Harry cut him off. "Don't give me that bullshit. That's supposed to make up for ten years of abuse? No... No, Dumbledore placed me there for a reason. He's been playing games with me my whole life, and I just let it happen. I never even realized it."

Snape frowned, speaking quietly. "What do you mean, Harry?"

Harry stopped, placing his hands on Snape's desk. "Do you know how Tom Riddle grew up, Professor?"

Snape shook his head. "Vaguely, but no specifics."

Harry smiled grimly. "Tom Riddle was abandoned at an orphanage after his mother died in child birth. He grew up, unwanted and alone. He was abused and beat upon almost daily by the other orphans. All in all, quite similar to how I grew up." Harry laughed. "Hell, we even looked alike!"

Snape drew in a tight breath. "Oh, Harry..."

"Nature versus nurture, Professor. Dumbledore was conducting an experiment. He wanted to see if Voldemort was created because of who he was, or if he came into being because of how he was raised."

"No, Harry, Albus would never do that to you."

"Wouldn't he? Look at my past, Snape. It's an almost identical match to Voldemort's. Dumbledore refused to believe that it might have been his fault because of his treatment of Riddle, so he replicated the situation. Place me in an unwanted home, and just sit back and watch." Harry seemed to laugh for a moment, which slowly turned into a choking sob. "Sometimes, now that I think about it, I find even more similarities between me and Voldemort. In the Ministry, when I cast the Cruciatus Curse on Lestrange..." Harry shuddered. "It felt so... so _good_. You have no idea how hard it was to not cast that curse again." He wiped his eyes, and placed his hands back on the desk, looking down. "Seems I'm more like Voldemort then I thought I was."

"Oh, child..." Snape stood up, and walked around the desk towards Harry. He placed a hand on a shaking shoulder. "You are a good person, Harry. My role as a Death Eater kept me from you for far too long. I may not have been there for you in the past, Harry, but I swear to you here and now that I'll be there for you in the future. After all..." He smiled kindly at Harry, who raised a tear-stained face towards him. "It's my duty as your father, you know." He reached around Harry and enveloped him in a hug. Harry tentatively hugged him back at first, grasping him tighter after a moment.

They stayed like that for a few moments, before Harry spoke.

"You know what, Dad?"

Snape smiled. It felt good to finally have Harry call him that. "What, child?"

"I can't believe you fell for the fake tears act."

Snape drew back quickly, hand flying for his wand. His hand grasped air as he realized his wand was missing.

Harry smirked. "Looking for this, Dad? _Expulsum!_" The banishing charm caught Snape in the chest and threw him backwards into a shelf of potions ingredients. Snape crashed to the ground, broken glass and slimy ingredients falling on him. He got his feet underneath him, only to be knocked back down as ropes wound around his body.

Harry smirked as he stepped forward above Snape. Snape's eyes widened as he recognized the wand twirling between Harry's fingers as the one he had placed on the desk. Harry's grin widened as he saw the recognition in Snape's eyes. "You really shouldn't leave toys lying around your children, Snape. Who knows what kind of accidents could happen." Harry shook his head. "You're just not a very good father, it seems."

He flicked the wand and Snape flew into one of the nearby chairs. Harry turned towards the doorway flicking the wand, causing the door to slam shut and lock with a loud squelch. "Don't want anybody interrupting us, dad. We have a lot to talk about."

Snape's eyes tracked his wand in Harry's hand, moving back and forth over his fingers. "Why are you doing this, Harry?"

Harry ignored him, pulling up a chair in front of Snape and sitting down, feet tapping with an almost nervous energy. "You know, Tom Riddle was just an ordinary boy, like me, until he met his father. Turns out, he used his father as a kind of stepping stone on his way up." Harry spread his arms out around him. "And it worked! You can feel the fear even in this castle!" He started to laugh. "Voldemort is nothing more then a mindless thug, and he's managed to submerse an entire country in fear! Do you know what his plan is for taking over the Ministry? The Imperious Curse." He laughed again madly. "_The Imperious Curse!_ That's so simple, a first year could have thought of it!"

Snape stared at Harry, shocked. "You're insane..."

Harry grinned widely, rage dancing in his eyes. "Insane? No... Just... liberated, you could say. For the first time in my life, I'm seeing clearly." He stood up, kicking the chair behind him backwards. "Without Riddle Sr., Voldemort wouldn't have been able to ascend to power as quickly. It marked an important time in his life, a coming of age of sorts." He grinned wider. "One more thing in common, I suppose."

"You don't want to do this, Harry... Please." Snape pleaded.

Harry regarded Snape for a moment with a wide smile on his face before speaking. "Alright, I'll bite. Why don't I want to do this?"

Snape swallowed, sweat running down his face. "Because... because I love you, Harry. You're my son."

Harry's grin fell, and he fell to one knee before Snape. He reached a hand up and place his hand on the side of Snape's neck, almost kindly. Snape shuddered as he saw the insanity dancing behind those emerald eyes that were so like Lily's.

"Love me?" Harry giggled. He leaned forward to whisper in Snape's ear. "If you truly love me, you'll scream until the very end."

Harry reached into his robes and pulled out a locket which would become the first of many. He stared at the locket, and wrapped the chain around his left hand while he gazed at it, enraptured with the simple jewelry. He started to speak quietly.

"You know, it's surprisingly easy to make a horcrux. Hermione thought she was so clever when she stole that book out of Dumbledore's office. She begged me not to read it, and I complied for a while before stealing the book one night. I'm not a fool. It's very likely that Voldemort will kill me before I manage to destroy all of his horcruxes. With any luck, he'll just have to do it more then once."

Snape just stared at the locket in disbelief, betrayal running through his mind. Harry turned towards Snape again, speaking.

"Dumbledore believed that people act the way they do because that is their nature. That no matter what happens, some core part of ourselves define us inside and out. He couldn't be farther from the truth. It is our choices that define who we are. Riddle made his choice when he tried to kill me. Dumbledore made his choice when he placed me with the Dursley's. You made your choice."

Snape swallowed. "And what about you?"

Harry shrugged lazily. "I made my choice a long time ago. I just hadn't realized it yet." He smiled as he saw Snape's beaten expression. "Why so glum, Dad?" He grasped Snape's face in his hand and placed the tip of his wand on his face, who began thrashing wildly.

"Harry, why are you doing this? I'm your father!"

Harry smiled grimly, a small chuckle escaping his lips.  
_  
"Exactly."_

Snape screamed as Harry began peeling the skin off of his face, murmuring to Snape in low tones.

"I want you to show me, Dad." Harry murmured, "Please." He leaned back and forced Snape to make eye contact.

"Show me how much you love me." He grinned again. "After all..." The screaming began anew as another patch of skin was pulled off.

"It's the least I deserve."


End file.
